


(always) room for just one more

by nothanksweregood (foreverkneeld)



Series: straight for your heart (wolfpack au) [13]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Foster Care, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, lots of hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 21:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverkneeld/pseuds/nothanksweregood
Summary: Sometimes, you get a call in the middle of the night saying a girl you barely know is having your baby. Sometimes, you and your pack get approved as foster carers because the world isn't kind. Sometimes, you end up with four children under the age of twelve within six months.Sometimes, your family is who you choose.





	(always) room for just one more

**Author's Note:**

> thank you, as ever and always, to b.

So, it starts with Louis noticing how Jeffrey in his first hour class has been getting more and more quiet as the weeks go on and then one day he flinched hard enough to crack his head against the slide when Gina has one of her famous birkets when it’s time to come in from break.

except no it doesn’t, because

it starts with Jim, because both his parents always come to all the parent-teacher conferences, and their questions and the way they treat Jim gives Liam panic attacks so bad that it takes both Zayn and Louis to pull him out of them.

except it really starts before that, a month after Shawn came - oh, but it starts before that, doesn’t it, because 

it started with a transit van, because Louis wanted the Mystery Machine and also something big enough for all of them, and then they ended up with a temporary pack member who stays for three months and then moves back to Canada with a pack closer to home, but in the middle of Shawn staying with them Louis and Zayn are lying in bed and Louis says into the dark - 

“I want to ask Bressie about becoming eligible for foster care.”

“Because of Shawn?”

“Because - I mean, yeah. I’d like to be able to help more kids like him, the ones in over their heads, y’know? But also - just - the normal kids. If something happens, I’d like to be able to be right there to help.”

“...it’s not a traditional kind of thing, babe. Wolves taking in humans. Most packs think we should just leave them to take care of their own. There’d be a lot of pushback.”

“Since when have we cared about what the others think? If kids need a home -”

“Hey, hey, I’m on your side, yeah? I’m just saying - I dunno how easy the process would be, but of course we’ll try. We’ll ask the others tomorrow.”

and then there’s the long process of getting approved as foster carers, including the police and council visit to their home to make sure it’s suitable, and training courses and paperwork and another in-home assessment, and six months and a baby later - 

oh, the baby. 

Well, there was a period of about five months, before Liam or Harry or even Niall, when an 18 year old Louis decided he didn’t care that Zayn had left him and so he moved to France to show just how much he didn’t care and he also decided he was going to try going out and pulling on the regular because he knew Zayn would hate it and hate the smell of all those strangers all over him and - well, he slept with only one girl before he realised that he sort of hated it, too. He’d made her breakfast in his awful flat and kissed her cheek as he saw her out and then the next week he’d met Niall, so.

But a few months after that (nine of them, to be precise) there’s a call at three in the morning and Louis mumbles a sleepy ‘hi, mum’ into it and then the next instant he’s shot out of bed and throws one of his shoes at Zayn as he stumbles around trying to get the other one on. Because apparently Zoe is at his mum’s hospital  _ right now _ having  _ his baby _ and would he like to explain why this girl claims Louis Tomlinson is the father and why it is that she, his own mother, never heard a word of it till just now?

And there are - complications and Louis sits in one of the awful hard plastic chairs that smell of death and antiseptic and prays, and Zayn and the others trade off waiting with him and 12 hours later there’s a baby but Zoe doesn’t make it.

They name the baby Margaret Zoe Tomlinson and Louis cries the first time he holds her, and it’s partly because she’s so wee-small and  _ perfect _ and partly for the girl he hardly knew and the mum Margaret never will. Zayn and his mum hold him and the baby both at once and they cry too and obviously when the rest of them get to come see the baby, they cry and - 

Well, that’s the baby. They call her Peggy.

So then there’s the van and Shawn and foster care and then there’s Jim and Jeffrey and a few months later, Gina.

Harry leaves for London just after Jim comes, because some awful, stuffy photographer had seen him once when he was out with Grimmy and some of his friends and offered him 500 pounds on the spot to come up and model for him the next week, and no one says anything but Harry knows money is tight and there’s a baby now and it’s easy money, really, and he couldn’t stay at the bakery making 8 pounds an hour forever, could he? And 500 pounds will pay for a lot of formula. And one thing leads to another and he’s all of a sudden got a regular gig with an independent magazine and it’s good money and the others don’t have to pick up as many shifts and that’s all to the good but he misses Zayn and Louis and the others so much and then there’s the whole thing with Marc Jacobs turning out to be striga -  [ but that’s another story ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8630722) \- and he comes home again and now there’s another baby and it’s  _ his _ .

But back to the beginning. Or back to the convoluted mess of an introduction, anyway. Jeffrey and his alcoholic mum and absent dad, and of course he insists everything is fine at home because that’s what you do, but he’s looking at Louis with fear etched in every line of his too-thin body and Louis sees Niall’s eyes staring up at him from behind Jeff’s grey ones, albeit hidden by his sandy hair.

Louis drops it, but the next day when Zayn comes to pick him and Liam up and Jeff’s the last person there again because his mum never shows and his gran hardly ever comes either, he makes two requests. One to Zayn and one to Placement Care.

Peggy’s two months old and she already wails when anyone not pack holds her, which Louis is secretly glad of even though he knows he shouldn’t be.

She smiles gummily up at him as he gently lifts her out of the carrier, cradling her to his chest as he leans over for a quick hello kiss from Zayn.

“How was she today?”

“Beautiful as always.” Zayn runs a finger over Peggy’s soft cheek, smiling as she burbles up at him. “Had the Orsen project to finish and she laid on her elephant and played with the mobile just as happy as you please.”

“There’s my good girl! Being so good for Zayn-jaan, aren’t you? Come on then, love, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Louis takes her over to the far side of the playtime area where Jeff is sitting on the low wall bordering it. He’s careful to scuff his feet on the gravel as he goes, giving the boy plenty of advance notice as he comes round in front of him and crouches to his level. “Hey, lad,” he says softly. “I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet.”

Jeff tensed as soon as he’d seen Louis there, but at the sight of the baby in his arms his eyes go wide. “Baby,” he says, just barely audible. He reaches out a tentative finger and then pulls it back quickly, like he’s been caught outside a burning building with matches and petrol instead of just touching a baby’s hand.

“You can touch,” Louis assures him. “This is Peggy. Peggy, can you say hi to my friend, Jeff?”

Peggy burbles and tries to stuff her fist into her mouth, looking betrayed when she can’t quite fit all of it in.

Jeff laughs, the noise rustier than a phone box in Dorset. 

“Would you like to hold her?” Louis asks, pressing his advantage while he’s got it.

“Oh!” Jeff stops, body going tense. “Oh, I couldn’t. I’m a bloody clumsy idiot, mum says so lots.”

Louis can see Zayn’s head come up at that from the other side of the grounds, and he grits his teeth, struggling for control so he can say gently, “Well, I’d have to disagree with your mum about that one, lad. You’re always very careful with the first formers when they’re having their break the same time as our lot, and you’re the only one I trust with the nice coloured pencils.”

“Really?” The sight of the fragile hope in those eyes is not helping Louis’ control, but fortunately at that moment Peggy takes her fist out of her mouth and smacks him in the jaw, possibly trying to fit it into his mouth, but he’s grateful for the distraction nonetheless. 

“Really. In fact, if you’d like, you can come home with me for supper and give Peg here her supper, too.”

“I - I’m supposed to wait for Mum.” Jeff glances down at Peggy as he says it, though, and the longing is clear in his face.

“I think your mum might be a bit late today.” Louis tries not to sound as though he’s given up on Jeff’s mum ever showing up at all, any day, ever. “Why don’t you come home with me and I’ll give her a ring and let her know I’ve got you safe, yeah?”

“I - you’ll let her know she doesn’t have to bother with me?”

“I’ll let her know we’re enjoying having you over, yes.”

“Um. I - I guess I could probably come, then. If you’re sure I wouldn’t be in the way?”

“Love, I promise we’d all be delighted to have you.” Louis risks placing a hand gently just above the torn place in Jeff’s trousers. “C’mon, then, I’ll need your help keeping this one company on the ride home.”

Zayn is careful to keep well out of arm's’ reach as Louis introduces him, keeping his body language as open and non-threatening as he can.

The ride home is thankfully short and Peggy behaves beautifully the whole way, grabbing at Jeff’s fingers and shrieking happily when he pretends to steal her nose.

“And here we are, then,” Louis says cheerfully, opening the door and nudging Rhino out of the way as he comes to the door to greet them, tail going madly.

“This eager chap here is Rhino, and then Loki’s around somewhere. He’s Liam’s dog, mostly - and here’s Liam now; you know Payno, don’t you, Jeff? From school?”

“You teach year one,” Jeff says, shy but somewhat bolstered by Rhino’s eager licking of his hands.

Liam beams at him. “That’s exactly right, yeah. I’m so glad you could come for dinner, Jeff.”

“Speaking of, is it ready or does Nialler need some help?”

“I can help,” Jeff offers, scrambling up from the floor. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just laze about, I can -”

“No no,” Liam says hurriedly, shooting Louis a look that says he understands now what Louis had been talking about. Louis, behind Jeff, grimaces in return. “You needn’t help, Jeff, you’re our guest!”

“No, I - I don’t want to be a bother, I’ve made lots of meals before, so I know how.”

“Do you know, Jeff, there is something you could help me with.” Louis nods to where Zayn’s taking Peggy out of her carrier. “D’you reckon you could help me get Ms Peg’s dinner ready? Zayn has some work he’s got to finish before dinner, so I could use someone to play with her so’s she doesn’t fuss.”

“I.” Jeff glances very quickly at Peggy and then away. “Well, if you need help, I could - if you’re sure you don’t need me to do something else?”

“Very sure.” Louis smiles at him. “She’s a sociable baby, y’see, so if we leave her alone she gets a bit shirty.” He pulls a face. “I think she makes sure her poos are extra smelly as revenge.” 

“Lou, I’ll be downstairs if you need me,” Zayn says quietly, kissing Peggy’s wisps of curls before handing her over, “Still got that project to finish.”

“All right,” Louis says. “Fetch you when it’s time for dinner, yeah? Is Jimbo down with you?”

“Think he’s helping Niall? They were looking over recipes before I left to pick you up.”

“Righto, I’ll go say hi, then.” Louis settles Peggy in her bouncy chair and motions Jeff over. “She likes a bit of bounce, see, but not too much, and if you play ‘catch my nose’ with her and just chat a bit she’ll love you forever. Lots of smiles, yeah, you’ve got the way of it already.”

Jeff tentatively reaches out a finger for Peggy to latch onto, smiling a little, because no one can resist a baby, especially not one as cute as his. There’s not a cuter baby in all the world, Louis is convinced. He straightens up, booping Peggy’s nose on his way. “I’m off to get her formula ready, then. Thank you so much, Jeff, this is an incredible help.”

Niall and Jim are in the kitchen, dark head and light bent over the cookbook Harry brought from his mum’s house.

Louis knocks quietly on the doorway, smiling at both of them as they look up. “Decided on something for dinner, then?”

Niall smiles back, holding out an arm for Louis to slip into and giving him a quick kiss hello. Jim’s gone back to the cookbook, unphased now by the physical affection after three weeks of living with them.

“We’ve got dinner in the oven. Shepherd’s pie. Well, two of them, in case anyone doesn’t want meat in it. We’re looking for something for pudding, now.”

“Ooh.” Louis leans in, careful not to crowd Jim too much. “What’re you rooting for, Jim-lad?”

Jim points to the picture of the double chocolate brownies. Louis nods solemnly. “Hard to go wrong with that much chocolate, isn’t it? Did you and Niall have a good afternoon?”

Jim nods, glancing at Niall, who smiles cheerfully at him. “We played memory while Liam did his teacher-y stuff, and then we did a bit of maths, and then we got started on dinner.”

“Sounds like a pretty good afternoon off. Except for the maths part.” Louis pulls a face. “Anything you need help with in here?”

Niall looks to Jim. “What do you reckon, Jim? Did we forget anything?”

Jim shakes his head, taking both hands and moving them out in front of himself like he’s shaking off water droplets.

“All finished?” Louis checks, and Jim nods. “You lot are too efficient for me, I reckon. Can I get Peggy’s bottle ready or have you done that as well?”

Jim giggles, one of his silent ones, but so good to see after the first two weeks of complete radio silence, and points to the counter, where a bottle is sitting waiting to be filled. Apparently you don’t have to warm up formula anymore, which still feels wrong to Louis after so many years of shuffling into the kitchen at one or two in the morning to warm a bottle up for his mum so she wouldn’t have to get out of bed and feed the twins. He complained about it for so long that Niall went out and bought a bottle warmer, so once he mixes the water and formula he can just pop it into the warmer and it’s ready in just a minute. Supposedly he’s not got to test the temperature either, but years of habit still have him dribbling a bit onto a wrist just in case.

“Did Nialler tell you we’re having a guest for dinner?” Louis asks, stooping a little to look Jim in the face. 

Jim’s hands move slowly but confidently, one small finger brushing across his chin and then both index fingers smashing alongside each other and finishing by pointing to himself.

“That’s such good signing, lad! And you’ve got it exactly - it’s a boy like you. He needs people to love him, and I know there’s no one better at that than you. So I know I can count on you to help him feel comfortable, yeah?”

Jim nods once and then twists to look up at Niall pleadingly, signing something Louis can’t catch.

Niall smoothes a hand over Jim’s tight curls. “We’ll tell him about you not talking, love, I promise. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

Biting his lip, Jim looks to Louis, who nods emphatically. “Remember what we said when you first came? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to talk just now. And it’s fine if you do. No one is allowed to make you feel bad about talking or not. You get to choose.”

Jim nods more confidently this time, and points to the bottle Louis is holding, signing ‘food’ and then ‘baby,’ and Louis laughs and obediently takes the bottle out to Peggy.

He has Jeff hold the bottle for him as he holds Peggy, and she’s just finishing the bottle when Niall calls them for dinner.

Louis texts Liam, who is certainly going to have his headphones on and won’t hear them calling for him, and opens the basement door to holler at Zayn. “Come on, then, we’ll set a good example and sit down. If you wouldn’t mind grabbing Peggy’s seat -” He unbuckles her and lifts her out gently as he speaks. “ - we’ll just set her up in the dining room while we have our dinners.”

Niall’s setting the shepherd’s pie on the table as they come in and he smiles at Jeff. “You must be Jeff, then. Glad you could join us, mate. I’m Niall.”

Jeff ducks his head, managing a mumbled greeting. Louis settles Peggy back into her bouncy seat and pats the chair to his left. “Have a sit here, Jeff. Oh, good, Jim’s got the rolls.”

Jim freezes in the doorway at the sight of a new person, and to his left, Louis can feel Jeff growing stiff as well. 

Niall says easily, “Y’can put the rolls by Lou, Jim-lad, but you’d best take one for yourself first before he eats them all.”

“Oi, I’d never,” Louis says.

“You would, and you have,” Niall corrects, flashing him a smile. Jim responds to the teasing with a very faint smile and gingerly sets the basket by Louis and slips into his seat opposite.

“Jeff, this is Jim. We’re lucky enough to have him staying with us for a bit. He’s a man of few words, is our Jim. Jim, this is my friend Jeff I told you about.”

Jim waves, tentative but his smile is warmer now.

“Someone’s got to balance out the number of words you say in a day,” Zayn says dryly, coming in with Liam on his heels.

“I object to that remark very strongly,” says Louis, not sounding it at all. “Are we all here, then? Jeff, Jim, Liam, Louis, Niall, Zayn, Ms Peg, and then Harry’s still in London. Fantastic. Praise the Lord and pass the butter.”

 

* * *

 

Dinner that first night is  _ weird _ . It’s weird that Niall made two things of shepherd’s pie even though the only people not eating meat are Jim and Zayn, and it’s weird that Louis thanks Liam for passing the butter with a loud smacking kiss on the cheek and it’s weird that no one yells at Jeff when he spills his water - it’s weird that no one yells,  _ period _ \- and it’s weirder still that after dinner when Louis takes Jeff aside into the living room and sits him down and very gently explains to him that his mum is going to a special hospital for a while and would Jeff mind very much staying with them until she’s better - he’s not really that surprised.

He knows his mum’s an alcoholic, but she - she did okay, most of the time. She still has her job at the Poundland, anyway, and there’s usually food in the cupboards and she doesn’t hit him. Well, except for sometimes when she’s had a  _ lot _ to drink, like, more than usual? Anyway Gina at school’s told him awful stories about being in the system, so he knew he was better off at home, especially since he’s pretty good at disappearing now when mum’s had a bit too much. Except - being with Louis and Liam and them doesn’t seem as bad as Gina said foster care was.

He likes Louis a lot; he has since the first time his mum didn’t show up to get him and Louis hadn’t made a big deal of waiting until his gran could come. Gran hadn’t been happy, either, grumbling about good-for-nothing daughters-in-law and having to leave bridge club to come and fetch ungrateful grandchildren, and Jeff had flushed miserably, hoping Louis didn’t think he was ungrateful, because he isn’t, truly, and he would’ve been happy to catch the bus home if he could have.

He’s not so sure about Zayn - Niall’s nice, and Jim is too, even if the only person he’ll say real words to is Niall - but Liam told him Zayn travels a lot for work, so maybe he won’t even have to see him very much.

There’s a set of bunkbeds in Jim’s room, and Louis assures him he can pick either the top or the bottom - “And tomorrow we’ll run over and get your things, yeah? Until then I think we’ve got some extra clothes you can borrow, and Harry’s laid in a good supply of toothbrushes, so you can clean your teeth and all that.”

Jim’s already in bed when Jeff gets back from the loo, covers pulled right up over himself so just his bright eyes are showing. Niall’s sitting on the edge of his bed, saying something in a quiet voice, and Jim’s nodding.

Jeff hesitates in the doorway, not sure if he should be intruding or not, but Niall glances up at him and smiles, motioning him in. “Just havin’ our good-night chat. Come on in, lad. Did you pick a bunk, yet?”

Jeff nods, motioning to the other lower bunk.

“In you get, then,” Niall says cheerfully. “Would it be okay if I tucked you in? You can say no if you’d rather not.”

Reflexively, Jeff glances over at Jim. Dark eyes meet his and Jim nods solemnly. Jeff ventures, “Do you - I don’t know - what that means.”

“I would just pull your covers up a bit and make sure you’ve got enough, that you’re all comfy. Jim lets me give him a bit of a cuddle, but I’d only do that if you were comfortable. And if you’d rather have one of the others tuck you in I’m happy to fetch them.”

“Aren’t I - sort of old, for that?” Jeff asks uncertainly, because he’s been putting himself to bed since he was three, really. He’s eleven, now.

“Never too old for a cuddle,” Niall says, leaning over and giving Jim a quick kiss on the forehead. “But we can just get you settled for tonight and you can decide later about the cuddles, yeah?”

Jeff nods shyly. It - feels nice, someone else pulling up his covers and fetching another blanket for “just in case” and when Niall straightens, smiling down at him with a cheerful “goodnight” Jeff almost wishes he’d been brave enough to ask for the cuddle.

He sleeps lightly, he always has, because he’s always had to - he used to have to jump up and push a chair or his dresser in front of the door sometimes, on the really bad nights - and he wakes up abruptly a few hours later when the small figure in the other bed sits up. There are small, choked noises from the other bed, like Jim’s trying not to cry but not quite succeeding. 

Jeff wonders if he ought to say something, or go - fetch someone or something, but a minute later the door opens and a figure slips into the room. 

“Hey, hey, Jim-lad, it’s all right. Let’s get you into some clean things, yeah? Come on, then, what’ve we said about this? Totally fine, I promise; we’ll have you sorted in just a tick.” 

Jeff watches through just barely slitted eyes as Louis quickly and efficiently strips the bed and re-makes it, tossing Jim’s clothes in with the dirty linens and fitting him out with new ones. 

“All set?” Louis asks in a whisper, settling Jim back down in his bed. 

Faintly, Jeff makes out Jim nodding.

“Right, then. Back to sleep with you.” Louis leans down and smacks a kiss on Jim’s forehead before slipping back out of the room.

Thoughtful, Jeff slips back down into bed. He used to have accidents, sometimes, when he was littler. It always made his mum yell awfully about how she should’ve just packed him off with his shit-for-brains dad to deal with. He figured out how to stop having them pretty quick. He wouldn’t have thought people would be so nice - to kids that weren’t even theirs, really. Gina said no one cared about foster kids, and she’d been in the system her whole life, pretty much, so she would know. But Louis didn’t even seem a bit upset that Jim had had an accident, and he still tucked Jim in, even, just the same as Niall had earlier. Maybe - maybe living here wouldn’t be as bad as Gina said. If they were nice about things like accidents, maybe they would be nice when Jeff was selfish and greedy and ungrateful and he’d just have to skip meals or sleep outside for a night or two, and that wasn’t that big of a deal; he’s done that lots before.

Maybe if it was nice - if they didn’t pretend to be nice at first and then be mad at him later, maybe he could see if Gina could stay in one of the bunkbeds too, so she wouldn’t have to stay with her awful foster family anymore and keep getting sick all the time.

* * *

 

It takes almost two months before Jeff feels comfortable enough to bring up Gina coming to live with them. He meets Harry, and Harry’s friend Nick, and an absolutely enormous mountain of a man who’s also named Niall but everyone calls Bressie or Chief, and one or the other of them is always there to tuck him and Jim in. Niall starts reading them the Casson Family books and he does all the voices and it’s so funny even Jim can’t help but laugh out loud.

He asks Jim first if he’d mind if Gina came, and then, aghast at his own selfishness, if Jim minds that  _ Jeff’s _ come to live with them and take attention away when before it was just everyone and Jim.

Jim shakes his head emphatically, though, hands moving slowly enough that Jeff can understand him, signing ‘big’ and ‘love’ and then, pointing to Jeff and then himself and then towards the door where Niall’s just left after kissing them both goodnight, whispers, “Family.”

It’s the first time Jim’s ever said anything to him, and Jeff can’t help but stare for just a minute. Jim dives underneath his blankets, one bright eye poking out a second later. Jeff smiles at him, trying to make it look as happy as Liam’s smiles. “Thank you, Jimbo. I’m really glad you’re here, you know?”

Jim smiles shyly back at him and fingerspells ‘Gina’ and then the sign for ‘question.’ 

“I’ll ask tomorrow, I think. Do you think - do you think Zayn will mind?” Jeff queries anxiously. He knows Zayn is nice, really, but sometimes he’s got this way of  _ looking _ at you that just makes your insides go cold, even though all of the others have assured them a million times Zayn would never do anything to hurt them.

Jim shakes his head again, sketching out Zayn’s name sign and ‘love’ again and pointing at Jeff. 

“Really?” Jeff flushes. “Oh. Well, he loves you too, you know. I know he really likes it when you go down and watch him paint. He always gets that little smile on his face, y’know? I like that smile a lot.”

Jim signs ‘same’ and lets himself flop back to his pillow, but a little smile is on his face too, and it’s with a light heart that Jeff rolls over and lets himself sleep as well.

* * *

 

“Jeff,” Louis says slowly, and it’s not unkind, but Jeff can already tell it’s not going to be the answer Jeff wants to hear. “Of course we want you to be with your friend, and I like Gina very much, but we can’t just - take her away from her foster family without a reason.”

“But there is a reason!” Jeff says eagerly. “She’s sick, like, all the time! She pretends she’s not because she doesn’t like people to know, but she told me! And they don’t care when she gets home or goes to bed or if she has breakfast in the morning or anything, and you and Liam’n Niall’n Zayn always make sure we have a good breakfast in the morning ‘cause you say it’s really important! If it’s really important they should be making sure she has it, right? And sometimes she goes all by herself all over the place after school and they don’t know and she doesn’t even come back until midnight, sometimes! She said!”

“Jeff,” Louis tries to interrupt, but Jeff is determined.

“I know she makes things up sometimes, but she  _ doesn’t _ , not about the important stuff! Please, you’ve got to help her, like you helped Jim and me,  _ please _ , Louis.” He feels like he’s almost about to cry, but he chokes it down. Despite Louis and the others’ constant assurances that it’s fine to cry if he has to, he still hears his mum and gran yelling at him sometimes about being a sissy instead of a real man.

“Easy, easy, lad, take a breath for me, yeah? Good boy. We’ll look into it, all right? We can’t just take her home with us; it’s not that simple, I’m afraid, but I’m going to call Bressie right away, yeah? He’ll go and check her family out and make sure she’s all right, and if he sees anything, anything at all he doesn’t like, I  _ promise _ we’ll get her somewhere safe. It might not be with us - I don’t know if they’ll let us without another girl about, but I promise. We won’t leave her there if they’re not being kind to her. Okay?”

Jeff heaves in a breath, feeling like he used to sometimes when it’d been a day or two without dinners. “Okay,” he whispers. “I - I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about standing up for your friend, Jeff. Honestly, I’m just really, really glad you trusted me enough to ask me about it, yeah? That’s what grown ups should be for, helping you with hard things, not making it harder on you and making you feel badly about it. I always want you to come to me or one of the others if you need something or you’re worried about something. Hey,” Louis crouches, catching Jeff’s eyes, “think you can try for me?”

“Yeah,” Jeff manages, “I - better go see if Jim needs me.”

“Off you go, then. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something.”

* * *

Where Jim and Jeff retreat, Gina advances. She advances through twelve foster homes in eleven years and then into their home and marches into the living room and tosses down her two worn duffle bags and announces she’s not sharing a room with any stinky boys.

Louis and Zayn glance at each other and Zayn says calmly, “You will have your own room, as it happens, but we try not to use hurtful words like that here.”

“Well, boys are stinky,” Gina says, stubborn.

“That’s the truth,” Louis mutters, and Zayn elbows him. Louis coughs and goes on, “But sometimes even though things are true, they’re still not kind to say. Sometimes you have to think about if your words would hurt someone or not, and if they will, you don’t say them.”

“Why not?”

“Because -” Louis looks to Zayn.

“Because,” Zayn says, kneeling and looking up to catch Gina’s eye, “there’s a lot of unkindness in the world, and sometimes it’s better to put some good into it instead.”

Gina fidgets and rolls her eyes, but doesn’t actually say anything to that except for, “I gotta go to the loo.”

“I’ll show you,” Louis says cheerfully. “This you do have to share with the boys, I’m afraid, but there’s a chore wheel and we all take turns cleaning, so it stays in pretty good shape, considering. You’ll have a couple of days to settle in and then we’ll get you on the wheel as well.”

“I didn’t have to do chores at my last house,” Gina grumbles.

“Well, at this house we all do chores.” 

“I bet  _ Zayn _ doesn’t do chores if he doesn’t feel like it. He’s the boss, isn’t he?”

“Zayn and I are both the bosses, actually. And Zayn has to go away for work sometimes, but he always does his chores if he’s home.”

Gina eyes him suspiciously, but drops it in favour of swinging into the bathroom and slamming and locking the door behind her. 

The next day, after it’s been suspiciously quiet for longer than a half hour, Liam goes to investigate and discovers Gina, having liberated a large box of Zayn’s paints from the basement, has spent a profitable thirty minutes adding a nice abstract piece of genre art to the front hallway. She looks up at him, initial guilty start suppressed almost instantly in favour of looking at him with a finely tuned ‘so what’ gaze.

Liam tilts his head. “It’s really good, Gina. Have you taken any art classes?”

Looking a little taken aback, she hitches one shoulder in a shrug. 

“Well, we’ll have to see about getting you some. Next time, maybe ask Zayn before you use his paints, okay? Some of them are hard to find.”

Feeling unexpectedly guilty, Gina nods and takes the box back downstairs before escaping outside to find the boys.

They’re suitably aghast when they hear what she did. 

“But why?” Jeff says, bewildered. “Gina, you don’t want to get sent away, do you?”

She shrugs. “I tracked mud in three days in a row last week and no one got mad or yelled at me. And I took all the cookies out of the jar and hid them under my bed and Niall just made more and gave me a tin for the ones I had. And when I dropped that plate Zayn just cleaned it up and told me not to worry about it. It’s  _ weird _ .”

“I told you they were nice,” Jeff says. “You didn’t have to - to be so bad! What if they don’t keep you! I don’t want you to have to leave!”

She looks uncertain for the first time. “You don’t think they will, do you? Lots of families get sick of me when I do things on accident, so I figured I should just - go ahead and figure out what the worst that’ll happen is. Getting smacked or no dinner or getting sent away.”

Jim looks from her to Jeff and signs something. Gina looks at Jeff. Jim’s kind of weird, and he’s obviously scared of her, but he looks sympathetic. Jeff translates, “‘Niall says they don’t hit’.”

“Well, yeah. Lots of people  _ say _ that. If you get them mad enough, though, they always do.”

“Maybe they won’t if we’re really good,” Jeff says hopefully. “And we can stay until we’re old enough to get jobs and get our own flat, maybe, and then no one can yell at us or hit us or - or get drunk, ever.”

“Huh. Even if I  _ try _ being good I still get yelled at. Just wait; you’ll see. I bet when Zayn gets back there’ll be  _ lots _ of yelling. I bet I’ll even get smacked.”

And with this dire prediction she marches off to the back garden.

* * *

 

But the afternoon passes and then dinner and bedtime with no one saying a word about punishment. Gina notices, though, that Zayn’s not at supper, and she guesses they’re going to wait for him to come home so he can punish her. That’s fine, though, she’s used to being in trouble, and Zayn seems too skinny to hit very hard.

She climbs into bed and Louis comes to tuck her in just the same as usual, and she asks a trifle sullenly where Zayn is.

“He’s away this week,” Louis explains, looking a little surprised, probably because he knows she doesn’t like Zayn very much. “A work trip.”

“Oh.” She digests this for a minute and then says diffidently, “If he’s away for a week you or Liam might as well punish me, then.”

“Punish you?” Louis’ hands pause on the coverlet and he sits down on the end of her bed. “Remind me what I’m punishing you for, again?”

Gina rolls her eyes. She hates it when they do this, making her list off everything she’s done wrong. But waiting for whatever happens to happen is still worse, so she explains, “Dropping dishes and tracking mud in and stealing cookies and colouring on the walls. I’d rather you or Liam than Zayn, even if he is skinny. I bet he hits harder anyway.”

Louis sits very still for a second, eyes fixed just to the left of her head. She twists around to see what he’s looking at, but it’s just the bedpost, so she untwists. It’s weird, Louis being so still. He’s usually the most like her of all of them - always up doing something or moving about or prodding the others into doing things. She gets tired of waiting for him to move and prods him with her foot through the covers.

He shakes himself and focuses on her again. His eyes look weird, sort of shiny. “Gina, remember what we told you the very first day we were here?”

“Uhm. About not going off on my own without an adult?”

“No - well, yes, but when we talked about consequences? And how we don’t ever hit each other or yell?”

“Oh, right. You have to say that, though. It doesn’t matter; I’ve got smacked lots of times.”

Louis is quiet again for a minute, and he does this weird thing with his throat like he’s got a lump he’s trying to wash down. Sometimes Gina gets a lump like that, when she’s been smacked for the third day in a row because she keeps sicking up at school, but Louis hardly ever is sick; Jeff said.

“Have we ever smacked Jeff or Jim?” Louis asks, his voice very quiet.

“No-o,” Gina concedes, “but they’re good, mostly. I’m bad ‘n wilful ‘n ungrateful. Lots of people told me.”

“Gina.” Louis looks awfully upset. “You’re not bad or wilful or ungrateful. You just care about things a lot, and you don’t always think things through before you do them. But you’re not a bad person at all.”

That’s not what the past eight foster people have said, but Louis seems like he’s about to start crying, so Gina just shrugs. “I thought the painting thing through,” she admits, in case that makes him change his mind about her not being bad. “I knew it was bad and I did it anyway.”

Louis runs a hand through his hair, looking like the lump is back in his throat. “Gina, would you mind if I gave you a hug? It’s okay to say no, and it’s not because of anything good or bad you did.”

Louis asking if he can give her a hug, the words the same as they always are, even though she’s been so bad and ungrateful, makes something weird-fluttery happen in her stomach. She nods, and Louis moves up on the bed, pulling her into his lap like she’s Jim’s size and not nearly twelve, and he holds on so tight she squeaks a little and twists to look up at him. He’s - definitely crying.

Astonished, she reaches up, conscience smiting her. “I’m sorry, Louis!” she cries, frantically patting at his cheeks. “I’m sorry I was bad; I won’t do it again, I promise! And you can let Zayn punish me; it’s okay, really.”

“Oh, lovey.” Louis gives her another nice, warm squeeze and lets her go, moving around until he’s facing her and holds both of her hands in his own. “Gina, darling, I think we’ve had a bit of a misunderstanding. I’m just - very sad that you’ve not been safe with - with the other foster carers. And I’m sorrier that you still don’t feel safe believing we’re not going to hit you or punish you for accidents.”

Gina feels a bit dizzy. The only thing she can think to say is, “But the wall wasn’t an accident, and neither were the other things, really.”

“I want you to tell me if I’ve not got this right, okay? But when you tracked in the mud, you thought you were going to be - punished, yes?”

“Well, yelled at, at least. Lots of homes they yelled about stuff like that. Even if it was their real kids.”

Louis nods like this makes sense. “And when we didn’t yell at you for it, did it maybe make you start wondering what else we - we wouldn’t yell about?”

Gina fidgets with the coverlet. “Maybe? I mean, Jeff and Jim said you didn’t, but - they’re really good and quiet and nice. I’m not like that. It’s better to just - know.”

“So you took the cookies and broke a plate, and then when we didn’t punish you for that, you thought you’d try something bigger, so you’d know for sure what we’d do? And then when we didn’t do anything or say anything you thought - Oh, my poor Gina.” He squeezes her fingers. “You thought we were just keeping you in suspense about what we were going to do. I’m so sorry, love.”

Gina looks at him in surprise. Grown-ups never apologise. “Grown-ups never apologise,” she informs Louis, since he obviously doesn’t know about that. She guesses he’s kind of a new grown-up still, so maybe that’s why he doesn’t know.

“This one does,” Louis says, serious, “and all of them should, if they f- if they mess up.”

“You almost said a swear!” Gina says, delighted.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Louis lets go of one of her hands to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. “Don’t tell Zayn, would you?” He must see her expression, because he adds hastily, “He wouldn’t hit or yell or anything, he’d just make his disappointed face.”

“Is he gonna do the disappointed face to me?” Gina checks, still a little nervous.

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t think so. He’s going to feel pretty bad about not realising what was going on, same as I do. And speaking of which, lovey, about that wall - no one is going to get smacked or hit or yelled at, okay? Next time you get the urge to do a grand work of art, let one of us know, yeah? We’ve got loads of that butcher paper stuff you’re welcome to draw all over and we can hang that on the wall.” He stands up, tucking her back in. “Did you have any other questions, buttercup?”

She starts to shake her head and then pauses, because he’d never really answered - “So - what will you do? If I’m - bad.”

“First of all, we don’t ever hit, and we try very hard not to yell, and we’re never going to punish you for accidents,” Louis says, sitting back down again and looking at her very seriously. “We tend to stick to letting the punishment fit the crime. If you ran off without an adult, for example, you wouldn’t be allowed any outings for a week or so. And if you got into someone’s things without asking, you’d apologise and have extra chores to do for a couple of days. That sort of thing. But no hitting or yelling, okay?”

“Okay.” Gina snuggles back down under the covers and Louis leans over and kisses her head very gently before getting up and snapping off the light. It’s still really weird here, and all the hugs and kisses are weird, but - maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe - maybe she can stay here. Just for a while.


End file.
